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English translations erwünscht?


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@LudicrousC

 

22 hours ago, LudicrousC said:

:lol: Yeah, it wouldn't be a surprise at all as "he sings inside the child" at one point, which is a weird way to describe what is probably pedocriminality, after all! :lol:

 

All opinions on the lyrics should be in the political / societal section and not in the lyrics section, as there are loads of (ethical) remarks to make from all kind of perspectives. Maybe I should start my own band :D

On some occassions it is very tempting to alter the translations towards a different outcome B)

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@LudicrousC   I have adjusted Fuehre mich in accordance with your remarks and added it to the list at the top of the post.    One remark regarding the Zweileib: I would go for the

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Halt: that looks really good, some alternatives below

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

They’re filling me with pain (pouring grief over me?)

Sie quellen mich mit Schmerzen (quellen in Dutch = kwellen = torment, I think it is the similar quellen)

They hunt/distress/agonize/torment/torture/excruciate/afflict/anguish/distress me with pain/ache/hurt/agony/misery/torment/malady/distress

> They torment me with agony

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

But that noisy scourge / that evil sound (?)

Doch das Übel an Geräuschen

But the most evil/bad/ugly/horrendous/horrid/miserable/nasty/wrong/nefarious/vicious/vile/wicked/foul/damnable/atrocious/offensive/loathsome/repulsive/spiteful -----  noise/rustle/whispering/swishing/murmuring/sound

> But the most wicked of sounds

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

Don’t you see I’m not feeling fine

Seht ihr nicht mir geht's nicht gut

> Can't you see I'm not feeling well

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

They’re swarming about on me

Sie kommen über mich in Scharen

They're swarming about on me (in hordes/masses/mobs/packs/bunches/cliques/clusters/floods/herds/legion/surges/troups/posses? maybe that would be double with the swarming)

> They are coming over me in surges/swarms

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

It’s pounding against my temples (in my skull?)

Es tritt in meinen Schläfen

> It’s pounding against my temples

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

A dead heart is no bereavement (loss?)

Ein totes Herz ist kein Verlust

> A dead heart is no loss

 

On 6/9/2022 at 10:15 PM, LudicrousC said:

No one fills me like that for fun

Niemand quellt mich so zum Scherz

> No one torments me like that for fun

 

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@LudicrousC 

You were lucky to choose Berlin 2 weeks ago instead of Duesseldorf!

I do hope they have their safety protocols ready for this heatwave......

No fire but water spraying everywhere, a nighttime concert and......

free icecream for everyone :D

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@LudicrousC

 

Roter Sand:

 

Your version is a lot better, apart from the ugly literal translation I also made quite a lot of errors I see. One line on which an alternative might be better:

 

On 5/29/2022 at 4:03 PM, LudicrousC said:

He says I had stolen you => He says I must have stolen you (from him)

Er sagt ich hätte dich gestohlen

> He blames me of stealing you

 

On 5/29/2022 at 4:03 PM, LudicrousC said:

Pointless I go down => Pointlessly I perish (Pointlessly I'm going under)

Sinnlos gehe ich zu Grund

> Pointlessly I perish

 

If you agree I'll add the adjusted .txt version to the list

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Here I am back again. ;)
 

Révélation


Le 17/06/2022 à 15:45, Lies a dit :

@LudicrousC 

You were lucky to choose Berlin 2 weeks ago instead of Duesseldorf!

I do hope they have their safety protocols ready for this heatwave......

 

You're damn right! That heatwave was insane (38 degrees Celsius non stop here for 3 days, had to move all the students to the coolest classrooms and shut all blinds down, just to survive, crazy!) I can't imagine how hellish it can be for an open-air concert...

 

 

 

Il y a 8 heures, Lies a dit :

Er sagt ich hätte dich gestohlen

> He blames me of stealing you

 

Actually, it can't be preposition "of" with "blame", only "for" => He blames me for stealing you

 

If you want to keep preposition "of", the verb must be "accuse" => He accuses me of stealing you

 

They both mean the same, but I kinda prefer the first one. Maybe because I feel there's a moral reproach with the verb "blame". So your choice of verb is a good idea. ;)

 

 

 

Le 15/06/2022 à 22:27, Lies a dit :

Sie quellen mich mit Schmerzen (quellen in Dutch = kwellen = torment, I think it is the similar quellen)

They hunt/distress/agonize/torment/torture/excruciate/afflict/anguish/distress me with pain/ache/hurt/agony/misery/torment/malady/distress

> They torment me with agony

 

I found that "quellen" meant "swell", "spring" or "pour" (same on wordreference). For the meaning of "torment", it's actually "quälen". So I wonder if the problem here isn't the transcript.

The lyrics have never been released by the band (the bonus track lyrics aren't in the CD).  So I checked on Affenknecht and on RammWiki: it's "quälen mich mit Scherzen" instead of "quellen mich mit Schmerzen". Maybe it's safer to consider the right transcript to be on RammWiki (also because I actually hear "Scherzen" in the song).

 

So here I'd translate the line into =>  They're tormenting me with (their) jokes

 

And for both lines later => No one torments me like that for fun

 

(It's a shame we can't keep the same word for Scherz.)

 

Et du coup @Pierricksi on fait confiance à ce qui a été mis sur Rammwiki, je pense qu'il faudrait changer la transcription et la trad' en français du site pour:

Sie quälen mich mit Scherzen => Ils me torturent avec leurs plaisanteries (blagues)

Et plus bas, on peut garder la même traduction pour cette transcription:

Niemand quält mich so zum Scherz

 

Le 15/06/2022 à 22:27, Lies a dit :

Doch das Übel an Geräuschen

But the most evil/bad/ugly/horrendous/horrid/miserable/nasty/wrong/nefarious/vicious/vile/wicked/foul/damnable/atrocious/offensive/loathsome/repulsive/spiteful -----  noise/rustle/whispering/swishing/murmuring/sound

> But the most wicked of sounds

 

The superlative form is a good idea. ;) I'll change that.

 

Le 15/06/2022 à 22:27, Lies a dit :

 

Seht ihr nicht mir geht's nicht gut

> Can't you see I'm not feeling well

 

Sounds better indeed, I'll change that too. ;)

 

Le 15/06/2022 à 22:27, Lies a dit :

 

Sie kommen über mich in Scharen

They're swarming about on me (in hordes/masses/mobs/packs/bunches/cliques/clusters/floods/herds/legion/surges/troups/posses? maybe that would be double with the swarming)

> They are coming over me in surges/swarms

 

I changed the verb as it always sounds much better in English when the verb describes the action rather than the movement. (Just like "I swam across the river" sounds better than "I crossed the river in breaststrokes.") So here, "swarm" translates "in Scharen".

 

But I understand why you feel the movement is wrong in my English translation. Maybe I should change for => They're swarming over me ?

 

 

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@LudicrousC

 

Spoiler

 

Yeah, maybe the band itself had a hard time too, being on stage with flames and all and 35 degrees C as it is. Also I saw there was a Billie Eilish concert (not my thing ;) ) on Saturday in Amsterdam and fans were already in front of the Amsterdam Johan Cruijff Arena from Friday evening on! I am getting too old for that, being early for me means an hour tops :). But it made me wonder, how do you cope from a safety perspective with that kind of stuff.

 (I like the idea of giving away free icecreams, but of course only if I don't have to pay icecreams for god knows how many >30.000? people :) )

 

 

On 6/19/2022 at 8:44 PM, LudicrousC said:

He blames me for stealing you

I like the blame version better too. Maybe we can add a pointing finger :)

 

 

On 6/19/2022 at 8:44 PM, LudicrousC said:

The lyrics have never been released by the band (the bonus track lyrics aren't in the CD).  So I checked on Affenknecht and on RammWiki: it's "quälen mich mit Scherzen" instead of "quellen mich mit Schmerzen". Maybe it's safer to consider the right transcript to be on RammWiki (also because I actually hear "Scherzen" in the song).

It's a good thing you checked! I was a bit sloppy then with quellen vs quälen, I though, well it sounds the same so that must be it. Dutch both has kwellen (to torment) as kwalen (maladies), but it's not quite the same. Both the translations you mention after this remark seem good to me.

 

On 6/19/2022 at 8:44 PM, LudicrousC said:

I changed the verb as it always sounds much better in English when the verb describes the action rather than the movement. (Just like "I swam across the river" sounds better than "I crossed the river in breaststrokes.") So here, "swarm" translates "in Scharen".

 

But I understand why you feel the movement is wrong in my English translation. Maybe I should change for => They're swarming over me ?

I see what you mean with the action vs the movement. I like the They're swarming over me.

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Posted (edited)

@LudicrousC

 

I have adjusted Fuehre mich in accordance with your remarks and added it to the list at the top of the post.

 

 One remark regarding the Zweileib: I would go for the "A twobody in semen". Or perhaps a two-body, as far as I am aware this word neither exists in German, nor in English (nor in Dutch).

 

The Rammstein guys do not strike me as being into astrology, so I wouldn't speculate in that direction. 

 

 

Edited by Lies
deleted a rampage on astrology and religion
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Il y a 4 heures, Lies a dit :

The Rammstein guys do not strike me as being into astrology

 

Apart from Richard maybe! :lol:

 

Il y a 4 heures, Lies a dit :

so I wouldn't speculate in that direction. 

 

But, yeah, I agree with you in the end. The two-body is a much more simple translation, let's keep it.

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@LudicrousC

This is a really good translation of Donau Kinder. I have some alternatives:

 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:34 PM, LudicrousC said:

Where comfort and pain are melting away

Wo Trost und Leid zerfließen

Zerfliessen is nicely chosen, as also a river fliesst. The river flows ever on and takes both the comfort and the pain. Unfortunately zerfliessen in English it is not to flow away but to melt away. An alternative is to die out, also not ideal. But that is just my simple thought, most correct would be to melt away I think.

> Where comfort and pain are dying out

 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:34 PM, LudicrousC said:

On your muggy meadows

In deinen feuchten Wiesen

If the feucht is in the air, then muggy is the word that brings you to a humid atmosphere that is nice for mosquitos. If the moist is in the ground, soggy might be better. I do not know which is meant here. Muggy, soggy, some kind of disaster: not a place you want to be :unsure:

 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:34 PM, LudicrousC said:

And every swan was dead

Und alle Schwäne tot

Maybe the every swan version is more correct, as a Dutch person I like the alle (which then again means every :) ). 

> And all the swans were dead

 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:34 PM, LudicrousC said:

Black flags floating over the town

Schwarze Fahnen auf der Stadt

The floating gives a nice picture as on a river you can float and the song is about the river. More correct might be that flags are raised.

> Black flags raised all over the town

 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:34 PM, LudicrousC said:

And people drifted away

Und die Menschen zogen fort

Like with the floating the drifting away gives a nice picture as the river can make you drift away. In this occassion I think it is too far from fort ziehen, but I understand the lyrical freedom you propose here. Alternatives:  abandoned/retreated/deserted/moved on/moved away

> And people moved on

 

 

 

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